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written on 2003-06-23 @ 12:05 a.m.

Well, we made it up here ok. Things are going pretty well! We left Wednesday morning, got here in about 7 1/2 hours which wasn't bad....the kids were really really good the whole way!

Yesterday was Kaitlyn's party for my side of the family. We had it at my Aunt's cottage on Lake Erie, and it was fun...I got sunburned though, and I'm really sore from the jetski. On the way up there, Kevin called.......really surprised me cause of the time, it was about 10 after 1 here which meant it was after 10 PM there...I'm confused on the time difference, but I know it was later then he usually stays awake. He said he wanted to make sure he called when she was up so he could talk to her....he walked for 45 minutes to get to the phone, and then waited in line....and it was over 100 out. They have moved out of the hotel they were in and he is staying in a warehouse, which is why he hasn't called. I know though that he was very tired today, he talked to Kaitlyn for a bit, then tralked to me for about 45 minutes, and had that long walk back. I don't know which is worse, not hearing from him, or talking to him and being reminded of the thousands of reasons I love him so much, and all the things I miss, and just wanting so much to touch him, and know he is ok.

He told me he wants me to have tons of fun. But I feel guilty doing anything fun, the whole time I was out on the lake, I kept thinking of him, and how unfair it is that he is thousands of miles away on his daughters first birthday, and I am having a blast, while he is sleeping on the concrete. It just isn't fair. I want him home now, I don't want him over there helping, I just want him that horribly selfish? He tells me about all the little kids that follow them around, and how he plays with them, and talks to them.....and I know he is doing good things, but I want him here. And I feel guilty for that too.

Well, we had another party with Kevin's family was ok, the kids swam in the little pool, and she got even more clothes (she got like 22 outfits total!) and a few more toys....I wish Kevin would have been here.

He did say though that his brigade is scheduled for NTC in January and to do that he has to be home by Sept 15th....and that they will be heading back to Kuwait around the middle of July....I want so badly to beleive that! But last month he was being told they'd be home by July 4th, and obviously they won't be....

I miss my husband.

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